The Nook

I was invited by a friend to write a short story about a picture she took at a cafe, following is the link to that picture, the below story is woven around that image.

Lights by Kaushiki

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It was a chilly, windy day. Not many people were out on the Tremont St. Dr Kavya with her quick small strides made her way towards Massachusetts General Hospital . Chin tucked in her scarf, gloved hands snuggled in the deep pockets of her Metallic Burberry Trench. She moved with a sense of urgency and purpose. Couple of pamphlets were flying off in front of her suggesting a wind that was picking up. She walked past the "The Thinking Cup" her favourite coffee joint, which was more than a coffee place as far as she was concerned. She had always dropped in .. but not today.

Six years back it was a similar day. Young Kavya looked at her phone , it read "Temperature 6 degrees , feels like 1" , the screen started glowing with snowflakes, and Kavya too was being surrounded by light snow which was slowly settling around her. She took a few more steps on Tremont st. and decided its best to take some shelter. "The Thinking Cup" was the closest place from where she was standing. As she stepped in , the rhythmic wind chime which was hung right at the entrance to meet the moving door, gently set off announcing Kavyas persence. She hurriedly closed the door behind her , and brushed off the little snow off her
shoulders. Kavya looked around, it was a quaint little place , felt warm and the place had a certain air which.. may be spoke of the owner, it was warm and welcoming.

There is something about these lights ..... why do they ‘sound’ like musical chimes ?

A post shared by Dr Kaushiki Dwivedee (@kaushikid_official) on Feb 3, 2017 at 11:47am PST

Kavya looked like any teenager, casual off white sweater, a pair of rugged jeans with beige knee length boots which were topped with a circle of little white fur, she sported a nice violet yellow mix color cap, but Kavya was unlike most teenagers. Her clear bright blue eyes were always searching and had an inquisitive look.

Kavya noticed that the place was just being setup. Almost everything was done barring a few lamps lying on the floor ,which were still to be unpacked. She moved to the corner of the seating area. The wall had a brick overlay which gave it a very beautiful rustic look. Adjacent to the wall was a simple window which gave a great view of the street. She immediately felt at home . The couch was brand new, she ran her fingers on the soft suede leather, it felt so relaxing.

"Location : Coffee Shop Feels like.. : Home " chuckled Kavya to herself trying to imitate the weather description on her phone earlier.

"Chamois !" "The leather.. it's Chamois", I got it custom made for the lounge. It's here , here .. and here ! " said a man who made his way from behind the serving counter, pointing at different areas where Chamois was used.

"I am Azlan, the thinker behind the thinking cup !", he said in an amusing way. He had a smiling face and probing eyes.

"You like the Nook eh ?" "Good for you ! I also like it in there, gets me thinking " smiled Azlan.

Azlan was in his fifties, grey hair but was stockily built . He sported a white shirt with grey stripes and his sleves rolled up to his elbows. He talked with open hand gestures, his hands had the bearings of years of sincere hardwork. Azlan carried an air of a gentle, sensitive man. Azlan too carried the same clear honest eyes. Kavya was pleased with the jovial nature of Azlan .

The weather worsened and it started to snow heavily now.

"Oh no I ll get late now", despaired Kavya.

"Hmm don't worry I am sure it will subside in a while" reassured Azlan.

"Well It's my birthday today and my folks wouldn't want me to be late " , said Kavya innocently.

"In that case why don't you have a seat and I'll be right back" , said Azlan.

As Kavya took a seat she peered out the window which was now turned blue and the halo inside the was just surreal.

Azlan returned with a small cake with a single candle on top. He also unpacked a lamp and hung it right in the corner to light up Kavyas face. The light from the candle and the beautiful lamp with its cylindrical nets filtered the light in ways which made the entire corner magical. It was as if some one had lit a bonfire and little shadows of unknown objects were dancing across the walls.

"These are the best cakes on this side of the river", said an elated Azlan.

"Happy Birthday !"

Months turned to years, The Thinking Cup always had the Nook reserved for Kavya. Hardly there was week that she wasn't there. Azlan and Kavya shared a special bond. In time Kavya shared that all she wanted to do in life was to help others and she has taken upon the goal to graduate in medicine. That was the day when Azlan made her coffee with a chocolate sprinkled plus sign and had said

"Here you go doc !" . Both of them had a hearty laugh.

Each year on Kavyas birthday Azlan added one more lamp to the Nook . This last Friday their friendship was 6 years old ! They celebrated with the same birthday cake and Kavya remembered how she blew out the lone candle.

Whoosh....

the incoming wind too made a similar sound and Kavya snapped back in the current moment. She was at the hospital campus. She looked at the patient log and moved to the concerned floor and room. She stepped in and looked at the bedside record , had a few words with attendant head nurse and turned towards her patient.

Last night a few drunk men roughed up Azlan and ransacked the cafe. It happened when they figured out his Iranian descent. Azlan had couple of broken bones and a bruised face. He slowly looked at Kavya. Kavya reached in her pocket and took out a picture she took last Friday. She placed it next to Azlan .

It was a picture of the six lamps under which the Nook gleaned of tranquility.

Note -

Nook is a corner secluded area where two walls meet.

Chamois leather - a soft suede leather formerly from the skin of the chamois antelope but now from sheepskin.

The Thinking Cup is a popular coffee chain in Boston. One of them is located on Tremont St.

It's actually pretty close to Massachusetts General Hospital!

Double Date

I won the Indies Unlimited Flash Fiction Challenge with the below entry . Rules are to write within 250 words and its called Flash Fiction. There is a picture prompt and you need to write around it.


http://www.indiesunlimited.com/2017/02/04/sorabh-saxena-wins-flash-fiction-challenge-2/

...


Double Date
by Sorabh Saxena

“Biologists say they have a peripheral vision range somewhere between 250 to 270 degrees, to scan for predator movement at or just below the horizon,” rattled Jane, smiling and peering into her reliable Vortex Viper.

Derek mumbled, “Eh..” and kept looking through his camera.

Jane was super excited for her break into the big league. She was down today at the Kenya’s Masai Mara National Reserve with National Geographic: a far cry from the state newspaper back in Huntsville, Alabama.

“Do you think they can see us?” asked Derek.

“Deer see five times better than we do,” she replied nonchalantly.

Derek and Jane were lying supine like a bunch of snipers. Jane had charted the track of a wild cat across the grasslands into a water reservoir for a week. They were expecting a crossing today.

Jane zoomed in with her Viper and noticed the buck.

“The fawns are busy grazing, but the buck is looking in our direction. He is bobbing his head and moving it side to side. They do that when they are trying to make a 3D image of a predator,” said Jane, in a now hushed and concerned voice.

“No way in hell they can make us out!” exclaimed Derek.

“Exactly … they have not,” said Jane nervously. Derek could see the fear in her eyes.

“They made out their predator! It’s only that they are not the Prey…”

A slow, deep growl came from just a few feet away.

The Fog

The sun had already set; the ambient light was just enough to make some shadows along the highway. The cold November air was seeping through my creaky Chevy as I rattled along the East Coast highway towards New York. The road was punctuated with seaports and bridges. I took an exit to get a break from driving. On a secluded turn, a ghost of a house jumped out at me with a towering lighthouse for company. My initial reaction was to keep moving, but somehow my car came to a sputtering halt.

With little hope of finding a living soul, I marched up the front porch. On the side there was a severely broken sign which seemed to read ~EAT~NT~EN~TER
When my door knocks went unanswered I peeped through the glass door only to be met with a set of eyes staring right back at me! Startled, I took a few steps back … the door opened and an old lady with a walking stick stepped out.
“What are you looking for, young man?”
When I looked at the broken signage for the eatery, she signaled me to follow.
As I entered and looked at the shambled place, I noticed the woman’s feet were still turned towards me. Blood drained from my face. I fumbled for words. The next thing I knew, I was running towards my car. Looking at the board, I now read it correctly as “DEATH DON’T ENTER”

Note - The requirement for this flash fiction was to complete a story under 250 words and should include elements in the picture prompt ( the fog house and lighthouse )



sorabh-saxena-wins-flash-fiction-challenge

Closet and it's skeletons ...

Her hands are wet, Not good ... For me ... Clumsy ... It can slippppppp !!!

The ugly looking lizard was completely still on the door as if it was bolted to it . It was looking straight ahead into infinity and didn't seem to move at all. As good as dead to me . The plants looked as if they have not been watered since ages , the withered remains of the dense network of branches and the dropped yellow leaves hinted of a promising lush green past . Neglect does that to things, be it plants or relationships !
Interesting view, windows are mostly draped I can see through a narrow slit between two curtains. The living room is visible, some part of the dining as well , there is a candle on the dining table , a red candle. It's almost noon but the whole house is submerged into total darkness. It's not a power outage ! I can see movement , What is that ??? I can see her sitting on a chair facing the candle . She is in a red colored gown, her shoulder length hair are all over the place , total mess , weary eyes, dark under eye circles suggest sleepless nights ( doing what ? I wonder )  I can see other things on the table , a knife,  a lemon , somebody's framed picture . Why is the lemon red ??? Is it her blood ? I felt my pulse rising , Transfixed ... I lost her ! She was looking at the picture now she is gone ... Where is she ... She suddenly appears between the curtains , She is at the window I think she saw me  !!!! I hear the door being cranked open in a hurry ...... Shucks am I made out ?

Wind ... A strong one ..... Push ... And Off .... Again ..

Am i thankful or not ... I almost had a heart attack ,
This one has some undraped windows , even the door is ajar . Brightly lit rooms. I can see a woman, nice to see some real people who don't look crazy. She is dressed nicely , She keeps checking herself in the mirror .Looks like she just got ready to go somewhere ... Or may be someone is visiting ? Seems like a house of a young couple . I see some pictures of the married couple by the corner table .Nice looking couple .There are fresh flowers on the table . The door bell rings, she seems excited and anxious .More excited than anxious is what I read . On the way to the door she passes the full length mirror , pauses , takes one final look at herself, a seductive smile , she is pleased with herself ! She is beautiful indeed. She reaches for the door . Some one comes in I cannot see who ... A small joyful shriek from the woman . Looks like he got her flowers , I hear her swooning , I can see a warm embrace , getting warmer , She has her arms around his shoulders , his on her waist .. Snuggling ... The embrace is growing into a right hug by the second ... He swings her, as she swivels on her heels , she closes the door behind them without taking her eyes off him . The bouquet falls off her hand, they don't bother to pick it up either . I finally get to see the lucky man . Wait it minute !! He is not the same man as her husband ! The man in the house is not the same as the one in the picture on the corner table .

"What took you so lonnnng ?" Smiled and complained the woman.
"I am sorry, you know how she is, always nagging and started a fight over spilled milk in the morning , it's with great difficulty that I managed to calm her down. She was after my poor mothers life !"

"I hate her !"

"I hate her too !"

"A man like you deserves better ! ... Forget her now that you are here honey .. I love this blue shirt by the way ! So happy to see you like the shirts I pick out for you ..."

"I love your ......"

The words died as they moved into the bedroom.  I cannot see them anymore nor can I hear anything . People and their emotional , physical needs .

Hey little bird ! What do you want ? Hey ! Stop hopping around ... Don't come close .. Hey ... Here I go again :( !!! What a day ...

There is a wind chime at the door , it is not alone , it has gush of wind to keep company . The round wooden disks held by the tattered threads are rocking in the wind but are not rocking enough to make contact with the metal cylinders in the chime ... There is movement but no sound , like there is "life" but it's not "Alive" ! The curtains are open and so is the door , a rocking chair is kept outside along with some young child's toys . I can see the living room , an old woman  , must be in 70s , walks in slowly . She carries a sad face . Her dress hints at her being a widow. She pulls herself a chair and is about to slump on it , when another woman barges in shouting at top of her voice .

"What the hell is happening ? Where do you think you are going ? The dishes are yet to be cleaned ? "

"I am just trying to have my medicines, also I had ironed the white shirt, what did my son wear to office today ?" Said the old woman in a low voice .

"Now I keep track if what your son wears ! Don't I have better things in life ? I think I saw him go out in the blue shirt... Which I don't even know when did he buy !!"

Harassed mother in law and a nagging wife , no wonder he is finding solace in someone else's arms . The toddler came crawling to find his toys ...

Hey stay away I am not your toy , you will not be able to handle me ... Stay awayyyyy
Here I go again ....

The scene here is very somber , people are weeping and are huddled together. There are some women who are inconsolable . There are medics around , an ambulance but it seems it's not going anywhere . Who ever it was it's too late for him it seems . People are talking , the man who has passed away was a  big business man he also used to regularly operate a pawn shop. Seems many people owed money to him . There is his immediately family . I can see a very young child and a young wife too. Too bad I feel ...
I haven't seen his face yet, people are saying it was a sudden heart attack . I am outside and right now in a total mess in household dirt and body hair , it seems the toddlers hairs in which I am intertwined . I mange to take a look at the man when he is being brought out. To my horror it's the same man who's photograph I saw on the red woman's table . A chill runs up my spine a I look upwards ... I can see the same woman , her black silhouette with messy hair dangling below . She was looking straight at me . I started getting nervous . Suddenly she shouts out to a boy standing near by.

"Hey kid ! Can you pick that up ? It's mine I dropped it "

I don't want to get in her hands ! Scared .. I cannot even run away .. The kid picks me up and as he starts to move toward the stairs . His friends run Into him with their cycles . Whamm... He slips falls and drops me .. Forgets about me and runs after his friends shrieking and making sounds ..

"Hey Kid !!" shouted the woman from above ...

But he didn't listen and ran away, narrow escape I felt . Time went by I was left unnoticed . As I was thinking about the days events I thanked my stars and wondered about the lives I saw today . Did the crazy woman owed money to this business man ? What had she pawned for her loan ? Suddenly a young boy stopped and picked me up. Worried I was if he was the same kid but he wasn't . While in his pocket I don't realise where he is going .. Some turns some stairs some door bells I hear . I am

taken out and placed on a table . I am still not clean ... But nonetheless I cannot have a worse day than I already had . As I said that to myself .. I noticed the table I was at ... I see the familiar red candle, and the dark room...... My heart sank and then I felt my heart racing . I felt someone standing behind me , and then as if I stopped breathing .. The same red dressed woman was standing , sporting a  wry smile . She reaches out to me and pulls out the hair strand of the young toddler whose father passed away in the morning .. This witch had a son ! And of all the people I had to be picked up by him !

I am just a big red clothesline clip which couldn't hold on to the wire where I belonged !

The Observer

The funny thing about air is, if you don't have enough of it , you can be dead in seconds and if you are caught in a strong wind of Force 10 63 mph , the likes of which is happening right now outside, you can very well be flung several feet in the air. However it's not just windy it's snowing too, the wind is whistling around me, as if asking me to step aside. I see few shadows in an other wise whiteout landscape. The shadows are growing bigger and are moving faster ... RAMMMMM !!! I am flung aside , bunch of people are running....

They say I am built strong but I always feel vulnerable . However I am used to being startled like this, this doesn't bother me as much as the other aspect ....
The nature of my job makes me go through multitude of emotions daily, I feel at times it will eventually take a toll on me. The other night this couple and it's family came rushing,the wife couldn't make the distance she stayed with me, I could see her anguish while she rested her hands on me. I could feel the streams of her tears which were as incessant as her wailing , a few more minutes and she slumped near me. It really breaks my heart as her husband was wheeled away , I don't think he would make it ....

They say I am very transparent in my way of working, even my personality, what is in me one can easily make out. I don't hide things like other people, the other day some one rushed in and ran into me with a chair. I was shaken, It had been some time that i got into any minor hustle .Doctor said i developed some cracks but I will be OK . I was reassured and was back at work.

Given my working timings I don't get to see many people. You can say my love life is almost nothing . However when given a chance I see "Mary" . She is a woman of few words .She never introduced herself ,but I made out her name from her name tag :) I never brought it up and we are you know :) connected. Have mutual understanding .We don't need many words to express how we feel . Mary takes care of me , she pampers me , makes me listen to her sweet whistles when she is .... She is close to me ... :) . I like her hands , they are rugged because she works hard but they feel nice .She is a real woman :)

Over the years I have seen thousands of people . There was an old couple once must be in their 70s husband and wife both exasperated . They had their only daughter a few feet away from them and was in a dire state . She had difficulty in breathin, i did what I do usually I am best in giving protection and support . The mother was inconsolable while the father was trying to put up a brave front. That's what you expect men to do eh ? Be strong  ? Or Atleast look strong ? I felt the hand of a little child not more than 3 yrs old . It was a girl , It was her mom who was inside battling life .The warm hand made me shrivel with pain . Those hands had just wiped dollops of tears off those cherubic cheeks , she was upset because since morning her mama has not spoken to her . The crying was down to paused hic cups ,after effects of crying too hard for too long .My heart went out for this little one and her grandparents .For some reason I didn't see her husband or in laws . Is she a single parent ? Hmmmmmm . I really wished her good health.

When people are not around I enjoy the green trees which are close to my working place . Some times some nice souls sit by me have their coffee and read their favorite books .. At times i try to take a peak in to what they are reading :) ... Remember my small accident ... They say those cracks gave me a new perspective or as i like to put it .. It gives me a character .. Like a nicely done tatto adds to some ones character .. These marks were mine to show off :)

One night .... It was a fateful night atleast for me ... An over zealous driver came too fast and too close by the time brakes would have been applied the front had almost ran through me ...when i think back I am surprised how I managed to survive .. I suffered major injuries but was still able to stand .... like they said I was built strong ! ... However It was decided that it's not safe for me here any more .... I had to lose some part of my body during the operation and transfer .... Because some damage couldn't be recovered ....

I was relocated .. At times you may feel , gross injustice has been handed out to you ... What you should keep in mind is that you cannot fathom the repercussions of any event completely ... Things pan out in time ... And some point in time you even tend to thank your stars coz had it not been for that unpleasant choice you would not have been doing something different and even enjoying it ........ Had it not been for that accident I would not have seen such happy times ..... Tiny tots laugh giggle and jump around all day ... I see their wards with smiling faces ...

The funny thing about air is .... It looks great when it's inside a balloon and it looks even better when you blow up soap bubbles ....

I don't protect the emergency doors any more .... This glass door now keeps the kids safe in the attendants waiting lounge :) I observe them while they are at their happiest .....

Deafening Silence

It seemed to be a quite day , not unusual for this part of Moscow , it has just rained , and it's still overcast ..... It's kind of appalling or god has just cast a sad spell .....a Very ...... Very sad spell .. there are very few vehicles on the junction .. As one walks by ... one can see the reflection of the dark clouds on the tall glasses of the pre revolutionary buildings ...... Perched nonchalantly on the sill of a closed window , a small magpie ... hops along the length of the ledge as if trying to escape the growing dark clouds appearing on the reflecting surface of the window ..magpies last hop takes her over the ledge she escaped the dark shadows much like what some humans resort to , but unlike the magpie they don't take the safe haven flight .... Hmmm ... Down at the street the wrinkles on the road have started to give away the city's age .... The undulating surface had created small pools of water close to the pavement ....  Egnor was standing close to such a pool looking at his own face .... Disheveled hair ... A weary face carrying a stubble , Hands in pocket .... Looking down as if that pool of water was the deepest lake in the world and those eyes were trying to find some unknown meaning in that water ....

Egnors trance is broken as the tranquility of the pool is disturbed by splashes of water .... His face dissolves into the buildings behind him  ... As he watches the city bus's front left tyre roar into the bus stop .... The hydraulic breaks screeching bringing down the diesel beast to a crawling halt ...the engine still humming eggs Egnor to move ... He stumbles along and reaches out to board the bus ...

There are not many souls on the bus ... Infact there are only six people .. Egnor takes the seat right in the front and glances back .... There was a Middle Aged woman dressed in smart casuals , her reading glasses gave her a studious look .. Another guy with his hood and ear plugs had his head down and was rhythmically gyrating to the unknown sound from his music player ..... The only thing significant about this bus was the unremarkable last seat which hosted three teens ... All three teenagers were exceptionally beautiful .. Perhaps stunning was the right word and three of them were engaged in such a boisterous conversation that they were totally oblivious of the world around them ....

The bus had started rolling forward all egnor was able to make out the girls were very excited ...... He could just see them but couldn't hear as they were far back .. Egnor for some reason couldn't take his eyes off the girls ... he turned around ... Put his right arm over his seat and nestled his chin close to his elbow and looked dead straight ..... The girls were immaculately dressed , they belonged to a school as was evident by their crisp blue  and white uniforms .... Two of them were blondes and one had auburn hair ... They were throwing their hands in the air ... like crazy and were anxiously looking at each other's faces as if they were trying to reach ahead of each other's thoughts and anticipate what one was about to say ..... So much happiness so much joy so much exuberance so much ....... Life .... Their conversation was like a lone lamp with a withering wick bearing the burden of hope in an otherwise stormy dark gloomy night ....

Egnor couldn't bear so much joy ... It has been two days that he spent pacing up and down the corridor of Emergency at the General Medical Hospital .... He didn't sleep , barely eaten anything for last two days ...... His wife left him 10 yrs ago , he was away to pick up their daughter from the play school ... 3 yr old Tyra was clinging on to his fathers little finger and was hopping back to home ... She always liked "hopping" as she felt she was a kangaroo :) .... Egnor and Tyra were welcomed by a pink note on the main door ..... "I am sorry" was all the was scribbled in a hurry ..... That morning was the last time Egnor saw his wife ....

A single parent and as a father Egnor had raised her daughter with lot of love .... Two days back 13 yr old Tyra met with an accident ... She was crossing a street when an over zealous teen overlooked her and rammed her coupe into her .... A teenager was behind the wheel infact the two girls were high they shouldn't have been in that car in that stage .... Infact Tyra shouldn't have been on that street at that hour ... She was walking back from the public library that evening ... Tyra was an avid reader when Egnor found her back in the hospital her belongings had a bookmarked "Saving Zasha" .. Will she be able finish that book ? Wondered Egnor ... It has been two days that Tyra is in coma along with Tyra, Egnors life also seem to have come to a pause ..... So many could haves , should haves , would she , if only's ....

The gargantuan diesel machine met with a speed bump which jolted Egnor back from the flashback .... These three girls with their exuberance were at total contrast to what Egnor was feeling ....and Egnor was now getting miffed ... His stressed red eyes squinted a bit ...he gripped the seat handle a bit tighter .. A frown started to develop ... "What are these girls talking about ehh ..... Boys ? .... My boyfriend is an  all star athlete ? What's your into ? Prom Night ? What will you be wearing ? What where and who did they party with last weekend ?" What is it that's so exciting ? Why are you so happy ? Why are you smiling and laughing ... When I am NOT ?? When my Tyra is not .... !!!

His eyes swelled up a little ..... The bus was grinding to another halt .. He got up before it could stop .. Stumbling to hold on .. Egnor fell down the bag in which he was carrying Tyra's belongings fell open ... "Saving Zasha" slipped out and bounced open .. The bookmark flew out as if it had its own wings ... Egnor watched that bookmark fly with that he felt his hopes sinking .... The bookmark fell in the laps of that studious looking lady ... Egnor got up ran after it and reached her ... She smiled and asked are you Ok ? Handing him back the bookmark .... Egnor took the bookmark startled by the fall and still was in agony over the thoughts of those happy girls and their discussions ... The bus had halted ... And people started to disembark .. He saw the three girls also still giggling and walking down to get off the bus ... When the three were down the studious looking lady followed them and stood close to them ... Egnor realized she was with the girls .... Putting his bag back on his shoulder and book and bookmark still in his hand ... He approached her ... "Excuse me are you with these girls ... I am sorry but I couldn't help notice the energy levels and excitement of the kids what are they talking about ? " ..... "Talking ??" The lady was surprised as she took a look at the pretty girls and back at Egnor ... "My dear , these lovely girls .. unfortunately are deaf and mute .. They belong to an orphanage and today is the first day that they have been given a chance to participate for "Talkable" , a technology which  allows not just the hand gestures to be translated but the sensor close to their throats estimates the vocal cord movement to guess the words .... they are practically hearing each other for the first time ..."

The girls just stood there and smiled at their teacher and the stranger ... The stranger just managed a wry smile and a wave of hand .... Trying to say hi .... The magpie seemed mto have followed Egnor and the bus round the block ... The chirpy bird quietly settles near Egnor .... His phone rings..... It's from general medical .... He listens to the call ... Puts the phone down .... Opens Tyra's book and places the bookmark on the first page ..... The magpie starts chirping again and flies back to another ledge .... Eagerly waiting for the dark clouds to give way to a ray of sun .....


Notes

Apart from a bird , a magpie is also used for an incessantly talkative person; noisy chatterer; chatterbox.

Pre revolutionary buildings in Moscow had tall imposing facades with big glass windows .

Saving Zasha is a popular teen novel in Russia

Talkable is currently available under different names but still is at a crude development level .

Reminiscent

It was a regular day… no… it was a beautiful day, we are on the beach, we took off our footwear as soon as we stepped on the moist cold soft gravels of the beach, I tapped my sandals together, dust off some of the clinging sand and put them in a small bag.. did the same with the sandals she was wearing, nice white sleek looking pair. She always had a better taste for such things than I did …. and it has been long since she picked a new pair…

The sun was playing hide and seek with the clouds, as if it knows I am on the beach and is egging me to play with it… I was tempted, had it been the time we were dating, she would have taken off and I would have been chasing her on the beach, when years rolled by we still used to have a quick run and chase routine as soon as we used to step on the beach.. and then took time to pick off the sand from between each other’s toes , tickle and have a laugh…... a gush of wind broke my train of thoughts, I looked at the hand I was holding.. and proceeded towards the two chairs. The two chairs were kept few feet from the rising tides, the chairs were kept within kissing distance of the tides, it was always her idea….. as if to challenge the incessant frothy waters…. “Here I am, if you want to get me, put some more effort ….”. With that thought I held her hand more tightly, but I made sure it was a snug hold, not too tight….. you know the kind of care you take during a pooja and cradle that freshly lit diya in your hand which is filled to the brim with oil, you may be an atheist but you somehow make sure that the oil is not be spilled and the wicker is not to be exhausted..


We moved over to the two seats, I made her sit on the right , she relaxed into the chair with a slight exhale. When I was sure she was snug in the chair I stepped back.. she looked straight at me… the sight was not of excitement, not of a knowing mischief , not of a surprise she had planned for me and certainly not the teary look which I must confess we had more than a few occasions in our married life… the sight was .. as if she was looking through me. I stepped aside and the evening sun fell on her face and made it glow.. she still looked beautiful…… she never liked too much jewelry , just a set of simple tops and a silver chain today … glistened in the sun, I stepped aside and sat down on the other chair.. the last time I saw tears in her eyes were when we lost our only son.. he was 16 and it was his birthday… I had gifted him his favorite motorbike…. He insisted to take it out immediately … as he moved few feet away from the house….a roaring truck just ran over him……. A kite took off right in front of me… the whiz in the wind snapped me back in the moment.. my eyes followed the red kite… which steadily rose against the sea breeze.. the color now turning black as it goes higher…. Something happens and string snaps…. the kite continued its trajectory for a few seconds unaware of the cord been snipped , few seconds later it was just floating in the air….. just like .. any other piece of paper….


I took her hand again and slowly caress it… she doesn’t take notice and still looks ahead to the rising tides… the sun is pretty close to the horizon , the sea now looks like its made of liquid gold…. I remember when we used to come to the beach earlier.. and when she used to look at the sea , we often used to argue that when we grow old will we still come to the beach , I used to say no I want to retire at a hill station, and she insisted close to beach.. we are over 60 now… and she did win… but I lost…. She doesn’t remember me anymore. She is suffering from Alzheimer, doctor says the loss of my son accelerated the deterioration.. I am alone despite her being next to me…

Note : There are 4 crore elders in India suffering from Alzheimer’s disease Hindu Post on Alzheimer in India

An Object of Desire

I was on the plush back seat of a Honda Accord, I don’t recall the exterior color but the beige inside exude luxuriant. I don’t remember when this was bought; I may not have been around when it was purchased…. Well… who cares.. as long as I am being driven around.. I don’t bother to know. I like how I look, I am wrapped in bright colors and if I look in the mirror I can fall for myself…

People in the car are dressed nicely, I can see some shimmer, women seem to be decked ! (Pretentious bit***s ) I too have been nicely made up… Looks like we are going for some ones marriage, every time they go to a marriage, I have to come along, like… as If ... I didn’t have anything better to do..

We have reached the venue, glad we are there, It was starting to get uneasy back there…. few folks are coming up to us.. I don’t remember them, in a way I don’t remember anybody I tend to keep away from these “relationships”, I just need to get my stuff nice and proper so nobody talks about sending me back to where I was……. thinking about where I came from gives me shudders.. I don’t want to go back to that dingy dark messy place.. infact I will make sure I never go back there… The person who bought me says I am at a better place and in future I will find a better home… not too sure of that, for now I have to deal with this long evening and the people in it………

I didn’t smile back to the people who had come up to meet us. I see around there are so many people who are just grinning ear to ear… I know it’s a festive occasion but come on… we don’t need to overdo it.. underneath all those tons of jewellery and clothes all are the same.. they want the …… same things.

I found a corner table, I am glad .. from here I can watch the night unfold, there is a champagne glass in front of me, bubbling with the clear wine it … should I.. eh… may I … oh well…. May be I can hold it off for sometime, more over I don’t see good company to enjoy it with.. Two women catch my eye… both are tall , slim I like their hair, it bounces with every step they take, high heels , but too long a lehenga that they are carrying.. not sure the reason as to why are they pinching their lehenga with both their hands, is it actually too long, or they want people to see the new set of heels they got… coz really holding the lehenga with the purse under the left arm and the bejeweled cell phone in the right hand… must not be very comfortable to walk with… anyways.. they at least manage to turn few heads , I see some tough built jocks looking their way and their silly smiles… hmmmm ladies are responding as well, their backs nicely arched making a pleasant posture, hand slightly touching an invisible thread of hair just to make sure its still there, holding the gaze for a moment longer ,closing their eyes a second longer, displaying those long eye lashes and looking away as if the people gaping at them don’t exist……Nice..… Indian Marriage… you are meant to strut here… isn’t it…

I see the Bride’s Mother… she has a mixed expression of suppressed exasperation and joyous feeling for triumph, there is another aunt who doesn’t seem too pleased but is desperately trying to show otherwise… and why not so.. her daughter is a “full year” elder and yet to be married….!!!

Then there is this eternal Casanova, who comes to marriage parties only to “get lucky”, shuns marriage altogether, refers himself as a free horse and maintains that marriage is for others.. However he doesn’t seem so macho when he runs into his “ex” who still looks gorgeous with twins and a decent well to do husband to tug along. Mr Casanova grips the glass he is holding in his right hand a little too hard and shifts his weight from one foot to another…. I see him slightly nervous… he seems to be enjoying the presence…. No… not her ex’s presence.. but strangely the twins…... I am beginning to doubt who the real father is here…. Hmm….. another skeleton another closet…

Long evening… its slowly coming to an end with Sanskrit vows with I bet neither of the couple understands but are still taking them… I have been moved to a new place somewhere inside the house.. it looks like I will have to be kept waiting…. As usual the people who brought me here are leaving without me.. I see the bride … she is being led to the bedroom… it’s a full hour later that the groom turns up… sudden hush and lots of giggles with a bevy of young girls exiting the bedroom like a swarm of bees off the hive.. quiet again… hmmm.. the door is closing .. I realize I am outside the bedroom.. it would have been so much better if I would have been inside.. like few others are… I know.. who am I to have an opinion.. I don’t even know whats inside me… all I know is that I am a nicely wrapped box , an object which may be desired.. I am not even sure if there is any content in me.. I can be as hollow as most people are… well.. then .. who cares….

Time

If there is anything in this world, which is always persitent, consistent, doesnt slow down, is not tired, is never weary, doesnt wait for any ones approving nod instead moves on,does not take a break, does not feel the need to relax, does not wait to smell the flowers, is unfazed by failure and stoic in success, does not care if things are good or if its otherwise, is impartial,impersonal, indifferent, is aloof despite being part of everything .. is...... Time.

Time is eternal, time is pervasive, time is fair .... Despite being fair it is unusally scrupulous in rewarding those who respect it and blatantly penalizes those who dont. With each movement of the seconds hand on your wrist watch, Time chops away small (equal) chunks of your life, like an efficient woodchuck. Soon you see yourself in the mirror as the guy who has now grown a little old, streaks of white hair start sprouting on your head and you console your self on "growing mature". Hours turn into days, days into weeks and a year goes by without you noticing. Suddenly you are looking at the next new year party and at times with some awe....
gosh the whole year went by!!. When do you think that feeling settles on us ? No! not on the 31st Dec :P ... but when do we feel like cheated or .. wasted.. , thats when we dont respect time for what it is. Time is something which you can never recover. Once gones it stays like that, and do you even remotely think that you have an infinite amount of it ? I dont think so but still most of us have habits which tend to absue time. What do you think happens to someone or something in your life when you start abusing it ? your colleague, spouse or your car ? It runs out of your life faster than you thought... right :) ? Same is with time, moment we start ignoring it, it starts ignoring us big time and races ahead as if its in a 100 m sprint and the 100 mts is a cicular ring than a straight pitch, because it never stops it never reaches the finish line. Hell it doesnt even stop when you are dead..:). So, we should .. try.. i said try not to absue this celestial peice of intangible but quantifiable matter.

Let me make a feeble attempt so this concept is rammed hard in your brain that time is precious (actually) ...For a change.. :) no matter how rich or how poor you are , Time gives you exactly 24 hours a day. I feel surpised why we dont treat these "hours" as precious, perishable quantities ? consider it this way, say you are the Master of yourself... take a second to digest what i said... you are master of yourself, ie picture youself sitting right at your apex behind those eyes.. yes .. where the brain is and consider yourself looking out of those eyes and picture yourself listening through those ears, think like you are detached and you own this body ,its like a giant robot right out of those manga robtos comic books. Now that you have pictured this , assume full responsibility of this robot.This robot like every machine needs to be "maintained" in order for it to be functional. Some greater God considers you a spendthrift and decides to pay you only in limited amounts of 24 "hours" every day, and these are perishable. With every hour gone past you have one less left to work with, so you can do the necessary things required to "maintain" this robot. How would you spend your 24 hours ? may be now with lot of care. With every hour you need to buy a new activity pay more in hours to learn that activity so your robot can be productive. Basically you need those hours to invest in yourself, your relationships, your life and strive towards being a better you.

We always look forward to the next version of any product right ? When is next version of iphone going to be realsed, when is the next version of your favourtive app going to hit the market. when is your favourite author going to write his next novel..... why dont we expect this from ourselves. Dont you think the world around you, esp the people who love, care about you expect to see .2 released ? A better you ? Still with defects and bugs and certain crashes which only God can foresee ;) .. in this new version but definitely this version of you has covered some functional defects :) before turning in to ".2".

Lets kickstart a new you, lets just start with you appreciating time...
[ i just took 5 minutes off your hour] Hope it was well spent :P
Keep Busy.....

Clockwork !

Most people who are in regular jobs will relate to this. Our lives or atleast mine , ( and since i am a very normal next door guy i expect most people would share the feeling ), my life is like clockwork ! but not in a positive way, i feel my life is like a day itself and all my days are replicas, even the weekend would feel like the double replicas of the previous weekends. We keep moving from one chore to another almost as if we are floating....right from getting out of the bed to brushing your teeth, wearing that striped shirt to putting your cell phone in your pocket... tic tac tic tac ... i know you are saying... So ?? what is wrong with that ? whats wrong in getting up and reaching office in time. But i feel that ... wouldnt this kind of life be that of an android ? Going about this routine for couple of years and your imagination will plummet.

Consider this, walk into your imaginative world with me ....imagine taking a wooden stick and walking to a section of a beach with levelled sand. Feel the wind in your face and listen to the faint screeching of distant sea fowls. Look down at the levelled part of the beach you are standing on... Make a symbol in that sand let it be any thing a Swastika or Ying Yang or what ever, may be your names intial letter. Now keep going over and over it. Make that A or S deeper every time, you would realise two things.... One going over and over the same shape is now easier coz its ingrained deeper everytime ! and the stick is oblivious of the surface and is just merry in its small trench, The second thing you would notice is that the impression A or S is getting more prominent on the surface. Now pour some water in that trench , see it fill up the symbol you made. where am i taking you ? ... :) To the beach of course... now just stand up and look at the image from a distance you see the swirling water in the trenches.. i draw parallel the levelled sand to our brain and the trench is our core activities which we keep doing in and out throughout the day without even realising.... the water you pored was new information about the world , ideas and thoughts which you pick up inadvertently. But you see the new ideas are not able to make an impact on your brain , they get stuck in your original way of working/thinking. Thats why people say that you see and hear things which you want to, If only we wouldnt have made those trenches, the water would have made new designs both beautiful and ugly but then there would have been a thrill of the unknown, its like this.. you are on a roller coaster ride and there are two scenarios, one you know there is sharp U turn ahead and second you dont know what is being thrown at you, in which case would you be more excited and looking forward to something ?? You know the answer right...

So if only we can make our lives "not predictable". Only if we can get up on the other side of our beds, only if we can break the norms set on us by ourselves. Only if we are conscious of our actions and try to probe upon our own thougths and try to come up with a new way to doing regular stuff. Only if we try to break out of our comfort zone . and you we will see a remarkable change in the way you workl. You may even allow the water stream to break out of the vedges......

Perception

The word perception comes from the latin word percepio - meaning "receiving collecting, apprehension with the mind of sensing". The other day i was in a party surrounded by my close friends, during the conversation i tried to recall an old colleague of ours, and i said "Guyz do you remember John ?", as my friends were responding, an unsual sense of understanding started to descend, a simple question like this can lead to such a interesting thought process was something i never imagined,

Jane responded "Oh the quiet one ?"
Samantha queried "Hmm the fair one ?"
Jack quipped "Ah the one with great forward defensive stroke !?"
Adrian inquired "One who always preffered TAZO tea over any other brand ?"
"The romantic guy ?"
"The loner ??"
"The one who had hots for Jemma ?"......

I said, "Guys guys !, all of you may be correct and may be wrong at the same time, he could be the same John or a different person we are talking about" , however i came to realise that say if he is the same person that all of us are describing, how everybody has a very different perception of him and at times at stark contrasts too !, i feel inorder to say some one "the quiet type" one must have attempted to have a conversation more than once ! and to say "the fair one" means they never walked up to the person at all ! but still everybody has a image of this person John, and this image is a strong one.

Its a natural tendency of human beings to correlate and juxtapose different scenarios to come to a conclusion and all of this happens automatically at the subconscious, but i feel if i really want to see what a statue at the centre of the crossroads looks like , i would have to take a walk around it, and not just view it from the road i am standing on, so one should always try to get a more comprehensive picture because it not just helps you understand a person better it also helps you learn so many new facets of his life. Spending time with some one is a important tool i guess, esp with those who you feel are important in your life, always put yourselves in different situations, some life will throw at you and you wouldnt have a choice but to be in them :) , some you should create of your own :) to know how he/she reacts or more importantly how you thought you would have reacted to this new situation. It will be fun ! and i hope your perception about me has evolved ? :)

Agree to Disagree ?

The art of disagreeing, ...... ...... .. The art of disagreeing ???, when did nodding your head sideways became an art ? Amusing it might be , but its true. Do you know people at times get into arguments just for the heck of it, they may not be backing a serious issue which is close to their heart but still they like to get into conversations which lead to more than just altercations. Why do they do that ?, in most cases its the ego that "ecomes" between the man and his self image. So the party involved in the heated argument is more concerned by the fact "How can i go wrong ?" "How can he/she find any mistake in my argument ?" "I know his pedigree, he doesnt have the right to be right! " :) .. we lose the focus on the topic at hand, though we may be right by arguing "for" our argument but still we need to consider the following if we need to evolve and grow more mature in our daily public dealings.

The person in front who has dared to come up against your "opinion" is NOT an empty TIN CAN and nor is he representing any company who sells any of those EMPTY TIN CANS. Why am i suggesting you take such a drastic view ? because like you even a TIN CAN needs R:E:S:P:E:C:T. and i would like you to give him some by NOT considering him a .. a TIN CAN. well ofcourse he can be the tin can you have always liked to play mental games with ... but .. but .. if you hold this stand of giving some respect to the individual you will see "where is he coming from" . He may be wrong but you need to know what premise did he based his "wrong" conclusion upon. Because if you probe with a few encouraging questions you will eventually know the premise of his "logical deduction" , how will that help ? One it helps by reducing the tension in the air, Two you give him respect by taking active interest in his "thought process", three if you now still feel that the premise on which he has based his conclusion is at fault, i would recommend you to attack the premise, and by attack i mean ask him to strengthen his foundation in accordance to you "still probing questions " For example if you dont like ascending ordered list of things, dont push your new list in his face instead go like "what do you think one stands to gain by having a ascending ordered list ?".
Most people if you feel were on a "wrong side" of an argument give away at this test, and now convincing them about your version of the argument is more automatic in nature, and no blood is spilled, the swords are not drawn. :)

Chess - Every move counts

Chess - a fascinating game, has many vivid moves each having their own individual charm, which shows the players wits and brilliance. More than that, it teaches how team work wins the day, how each peice has its own individuality and personality, how it can be made to contribute if it is positioned at a vantage point, all pieces have their limitations too, but when they are orchestrated by a Master, they drum up a harmony .. unmatched.

To me chess represents Life. Life includes our work place and personal space at home. Lets discuss teams at our work place first, and try to formulate the team leaders action plans, much of them can be derived from chess! Its of utmost importance to realise that on a chess board there just cannot be 32 Queens !!. There will be pawns ( half of them :) ) , they are there because they are part of the system, and they are supposed to serve a purpose, a team leads job is determine that purpose. You as a team leader or a person with authority should realise this fact and learn to place this pawn at a place from where he / she supports the whole team in the best way possible. So dont crib and discard the team members who dont seem to be shining stars and have limited imagination.
Then have a look at your rooks bishops and knights.. Know that they have an individual style of working -- as a team lead respect that.. Give them "that space" where they feel free to practice their art. Also note and appreciate the fact that in all probability there will be only one queen in your team :). Use him/her discretely :) be aware of his capacity and also audacity at times. Every time your queen makes a move do keep a margin for his proclivity for exaggeration too.
Doesnt chess teaches us that. We can have wonderful results from a team which does infact consist of all "types" of members, the catch is that the team lead needs to know individual strengths and weaknesses.
What would chess teach me in my personal space at home. It teaches me to have foresight and REALISE that every single CORRECT move that i make today, inches me closer to the final win. Chess inspires me to think that yes indeed its important to win the battles the skirmishes.. if you want to win the WAR. Chess teaches me caution and to be a paranoid to some degree , i never find anything wrong in questioning your own decisions, this doesnt make you a fickle. It helps you improve your original decision. Who said you made a master piece in one stroke ? It takes lot of information , research , opinions, soul searching in order to make a very important decision. So do all that and more if required. A well researched decision will see you travel farther than one taken in haste. Chess also teaches me that you have to pay for what decisions you make, you wholly solely are responsible for the consequences, so.. for example .watch out before you let that scathing sarcastic remark about that person. Words are like Arrows which once out cannot be retrieved.
So that was my check and mate for you. :)

Pedigree

Nah.. i am not rambling about dog food supplements :P . i have always felt that its helpful to have your reputation walk in front of you, the better it is .. more fair is the chance of making a positive impression, when i say some one is of a good pedigree it usually means that x y z is from a particular community of the elite or "best of the best" brand ;) , it could be a niche group of programmers at google or bunch of scientists at DRDO, something which sets them apart.... however .. as i put it.. a good pedigree will help you get a standing ovation when you walk down to the starting line of a 100 m dash... but how you run depends on how you trained your self" :). So always strive to build a niche for yourself, be authoritative in something.... it could be gardening or compiler design.. anything you feel you have a genuine interest.. try to make a passion out of it... trust me it will help...

why ...

Have you ever been in this situation ... on a friday evening you return to your apartment, tired from work but elated at times as you did a good job... again .. you walk upto your first floor apartments window and turn the blinds, the room is filled with the lights up on the street.. you didnt care to switch on the light.. you just felt to absorb the dark quietness the room has to offer unlike the clamour in the meeting room.. you separate the blinds a bit with your fore finger and thumb and peek out as if you have been hiding..... were you .. ? You feel rested as cars rush on with their passengers.. some returning home... some going to work their shifts... You ponder and you ask... Why.. why do i feel that something is missing... why is it that i am not smiling at myself.... why do i have a smirk to offer when people wish me .. Hi..!!. Why dont i have the enthusiasm that i used to , why am i getting dumber, why am i becoming risk averse as i am increasing in age, why .... and why dont i finish that book "First Things First" , time to close the blinds and switch open the switch...................... Need to focus on things important in life.. and not those which are urgent....

H1B and everything about it.

I did some research on H1B and i thought i would share it with anybody stumbling accross this page.

H1B is not for you if :-

You like the "desi chai" of the nukkad around your office.
Want to get to know every pulse of what India is upto.
You are a social animal and like getting along with other members of your khandan on diwali and holi and the odd nephews birthday.
If you have a working wife and she is willing to leave her work for few years, ( she cant work if she is on H4 visa with you )
You adore your parents so much that you cant leave them on their own when sunset is around the corner in their lives.
If you cannot tolerate the slightest of racial discrimination, i mean even the rowing eyes which raised eyebrows.
If you dont want to be an "indentured worker".

H1B is for you.
If you wish to make quick buck and have the discipline to go back to India to utilize the quick buck.
If you want to settle in US, have kids and think you have done a great job by having them here and saying they are american citizens now.
You really love the squeaky clean airports and great highways of US.


So you decide...
some links which will help you.
http://www.zazona.com/ShameH1B/H1BFAQs.htm#WhatisH-1B
http://www.indusladies.com/forums/h4-visa/151-h4-wife-things-to-do.html


Dont get all negative on the H1B thing, but do enough research on it before you jump boat, and bottom line if you think like me ie if you think you want to make some big money real quickly and dont want to setlle in US and you think you have the discipline to go back to India then do the following.
sit down with your spouse or alone, and have a figure in Rs that this much i want to save during my stay in US, dont talk about the duration, just the figure that you think you will be happy with. Then negotiate your salary to start with and jump on the bandwagon, if i would be you i will not get greedy for Green Card coz i dont want to settle here right... So dont think too much about jumping jobs. go ahead find another contracting firm who will pay you more and help you reach the goal u have in mind. As soon as you make that figure i would suggest time to pack up. Time to go to dear India :)

think about it. !

First Post

I know i have come on to this "blogging scene" quite late ... but hey i realised its high time i save some of these brain waves i keep getting. Also i was looking for a place where i can save my searches urls etc without keeping separate accounts for them... wat am i doing... no one should be reading this right why would any body care to ..... thats what i think.. oh well....